Is failure a failure?

I have been thinking about this question a lot the past few days.  I know it doesn't really fit in with the topic of the blog but I feel as though I am being pushed to write it by that unknown entity.  So here is hoping that someone out there may need to read this.  Plus it follows up on my last post nicely.

We have a situation in my family right now where my step son is failing at a task.  He is failing miserably.  If it were school, he would have an F-.  I tried to help but wasn't in a position to do much.  My husband tried to help but no longer can.  I am the enforcer of the fact that we no longer can; therefore, I have become a Disney character - the evil step mom.  We tried, but helping was not teaching.

Over the weekend I had a conversation with my in-laws and they tried to tell me how it would be different if it was my own child because you never want to see your child fail.  I thought about it for a minute and then had to tell them, no, I would have the same attitude, maybe worse with my own children.  Of course I don't want to see them fail.  I don't want to see anyone fail.  But, failure is a part of life.  I think we have forgotten that.  Failure will happen.  My children will stay up too late and not study and get an F.  Should I go into school and complain to the teacher?  No.  I need to use the failure to teach my children how to make better decisions.

Remember, failure will happen.  The question is what will you do when it does?  Will you blame others, cry about it in your beer, and wait for someone else to pick up the pieces?  Or will you pick yourself up, examine what you did (or didn't do), examine your priorities, and set up a plan for success?  In the small failures that I expect from my children I really hope I can teach them to do the latter.  No one is going to succeed at everything they ever try.  Failure is a tool for teaching.  It is not the end but the beginning.

What do I do about the fact that my step son will no longer speak to me or his father?  Nothing.  What can I do?  I cannot control him.  I would love to talk to him but this is a failure of his emotions.  Either he will accept the fact that we can no longer help or he won't.  As I have said to my own children many times, "My job is not to be liked.  My job is to raise responsible members of society."  They may not like my teaching method but it is what it is.  Take the failure and learn from it.  Decide what is important and do it.  But don't blame others.  Only you can do what you set out to do.

Plan, prioritize, and find how to succeed and take responsibility!