I Must Be Crazy

One might ask the simple question of, "Why must you be crazy?"

You see, it is 5AM.  This would not be too bad had I not been awake since 2AM.  Personally, I like being fast asleep at 2AM.  And, try as I might, there was no sleep.  Therefore, I started working at 4AM.

I can see the question going through your minds, "What does this have to do with this blog?"

I'm not sure, except the fact that I think the reason I cannot sleep is it has been one of those weeks; months really which is why I haven't posted.  No one here wants to read my negativity.

I have had to be in a myriad of places and a little bundle of energy.  I have had so much stress that it was unbearable at times and I just cracked and felt the tears freely flow.  And now; now it is over.  With the exception of a fun-filled weekend this week's adventures have concluded and many other adventures are wrapping up as well.  I am wiped out but that excess energy is still flowing.

"Again," you ask.  "What has that to do with this blog?"

Simple.  I have used more magic this week than I have in the past several months.  And the more I use it the more it is coming to me. I am horrible at visualization.  I am a Taurus, an earth symbol.  I have little use for flighty things I can only see in my head.  I don't want to see it in my head, I want to touch it.  Yet today, in the midst of all the sadness and insanity, I found myself looking at a beautiful picture.  It is a beautiful magical clearing in the woods.  A circle that even just in a picture you can feel the positive energy flowing through the space.

The foreground of the picture is shadows, where you can tell there are great trees lining the place.  It is simply dirt with some grass growing.  On the right foreground nothing but that same.  The right background shows the trees.  It is the left of the picture that intrigues me.  In the middle of the background is on large tree with two branches that form an archway off the the left.  The branches are for some reason bare, given all the other leaves on the trees.  The left foreground has a beautiful maple branch with its leaves, so soft and inviting.  After taking all this in, that is when you see it.  Under the archway.  There are trees back there but the grass grows a bit taller.  Then you realize, this is where the light is coming from.  This is the place that has been put on this earth for some reason.  This circle of calmness and serenity gives way.  Although there is no indication you would need to, I could feel the leaves of a maple brush against my face as I followed this light.  Like Merida in Brave, following the Wisps, I saw myself peering, creeping, wondering, what is in the light?  What could be just beyond this archway?  This inviting, loving archway.  And why the dichotomy?  You see, the light is outside this wonderful, powerful circle.  Why isn't the light in the circle, in the shadows where the rituals take place?  I saw myself slowly push through the trees into another clearing, this one so perfect and so bright, all I could do was feel the warmth and calmness wash over me.  I felt the Mother putting Her arms around me and reminding me She is always with me, no matter what the sorrow.

How did I, this earth bound, analytical Taurus, have such a wonderful and amazing experience?  I don't know.  Either I am crazy or it was what those above knew I needed at that moment.

Only now am I understanding.  I have never been to the place in the picture, so for all I know it is a barren dirt road beyond those trees.  But not in my mind.  I believe that it is an even more beautiful and powerful clearing.  And that was one of my lessons for today.  That is faith and Wicca.  For a time, we have bodies.  We are in this place where there is light and should be more light for the ritual.  But where we are going in the end is where the light is.  The more we follow that light, the closer we are to knowing the love and goodness offered by the Divine.  And in all the sorrows is the warmth and light of our heavenly Family.